So, um, you can take the jeep today, honey…

Both of these things happened in the last 24 hours. I’ll be taking my wife’s ’99 miata to work.

Bad bad news: the day has arrived when someone literally on their couch can literally kill the person who is literally going places in the world, just because they think it’s neat-o.

Bad news: people who just want to drive somewhere and have the moola to upgrade to the top-of-the-line stereo systems now have to put their tuchus where their mouth is, to back up having claimed to have popped for a loaded new car on the basis of the latest crash safety, and not the upgraded stereo.

Good news?: If this immediately is relevant to you, you are probably the owner of a nice new car with a pretty sweet stereo? You’re fortunate enough to be among the first capable of dying in a way that could render the NHTSA into a data- surveillance organization?

Somehow, I’m going to have to figure out what about this can be spun into having something to do with patents. I’ll work on it. Until then, have a freak-out on me, irrespective of how you got to my site. I need better SEO anyway (e.g. Dan becker patent attorney rtp Raleigh invent idea save world better mousetrap loofa cat litter box roomba entrepreneur startup software is not inventing unless it’s for a machine so the machine is the invention and not the software cars cars cars), so going wide of strictly on-target messaging isn’t likely going to be the thing that ruins my practice. 

The scariest part of reading all of this is the highlighted link in the screenshot. If you’d like to avoid being in an anonymously-made-runaway vehicle, just click here, download the anti-car-hack-patch, put it on a USB stick, and figure out how to re-brain your car, or make sure you get to the Chrysler dealership before … Oh my god, I think they can tell that I’m getting close to the dealership. I may have to drag the car there with a rope. Oh, I know, I’ll call an Uber. Because what should really save me from my own car is someone else in traffic, also working for a web app.

Let’s all just throw away our phones all at once.